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Susan T-O
Permanent Resident

USA
2481 Posts

Posted - 05/14/2003 :  5:19:01 PM  Show Profile  Visit Susan T-O's Homepage Send Susan T-O a Private Message
I think if someone made comments like that to me, I would most likely respond with, "I'm sorry you don't like it. Next time I'll just give you the yarn and you can make it yourself." Those people are being awfully rude and don't deserve to have nice handmade knits! I agree with Mlinid, I would happily and gratefully accept any gift you care to give me

Two parrots are sitting on a perch, and one says to the other, "Do you smell fish?"
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Susan T-O
Permanent Resident

USA
2481 Posts

Posted - 05/14/2003 :  5:19:01 PM  Show Profile  Visit Susan T-O's Homepage Send Susan T-O a Private Message
I think if someone made comments like that to me, I would most likely respond with, "I'm sorry you don't like it. Next time I'll just give you the yarn and you can make it yourself." Those people are being awfully rude and don't deserve to have nice handmade knits! I agree with Mlinid, I would happily and gratefully accept any gift you care to give me

Two parrots are sitting on a perch, and one says to the other, "Do you smell fish?"
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Maxtish
Chatty Knitter

USA
190 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  07:31:10 AM  Show Profile Send Maxtish a Private Message
Of course I would love it if all my gifts were worn and oohed and ahed over. But for me it is really the process that I enjoy and the pleasure at seeing the final product but not necessarily hanging on to the final product. I figure I am so addicted to knitting I couldn't possibly justify/rationalize my stash if it was all for me. In fact, I think that was why I stopped knitting when I first learned, I was knitting everything for me or my boyfriend (don't ask) and I just didn't need anymore sweaters. Then my friends started having babies and I began whipping up gifts and getting really into it again. If I know someone won't appreciate it, I won't give something to them. But every once in awhile I see something (yarn, pattern) that I just have to make for someone that I haven't knitted for before so I go for it. But before I start, I make a bargain with myself that I am taking a chance so I better be prepared for the potential downside--not appreciated, not worn, etc.

Luckily, I have several friends that do appreciate the effort and work that goes into them (so they are much more likely to get things). For Christmas last year, a friend of mine gave me a frame filled with pictures of her daughters wearing all the various items I had knit for her so I could have a record of my work being worn. I thought that was a wonderful gift!

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Maxtish
Chatty Knitter

USA
190 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  07:31:10 AM  Show Profile Send Maxtish a Private Message
Of course I would love it if all my gifts were worn and oohed and ahed over. But for me it is really the process that I enjoy and the pleasure at seeing the final product but not necessarily hanging on to the final product. I figure I am so addicted to knitting I couldn't possibly justify/rationalize my stash if it was all for me. In fact, I think that was why I stopped knitting when I first learned, I was knitting everything for me or my boyfriend (don't ask) and I just didn't need anymore sweaters. Then my friends started having babies and I began whipping up gifts and getting really into it again. If I know someone won't appreciate it, I won't give something to them. But every once in awhile I see something (yarn, pattern) that I just have to make for someone that I haven't knitted for before so I go for it. But before I start, I make a bargain with myself that I am taking a chance so I better be prepared for the potential downside--not appreciated, not worn, etc.

Luckily, I have several friends that do appreciate the effort and work that goes into them (so they are much more likely to get things). For Christmas last year, a friend of mine gave me a frame filled with pictures of her daughters wearing all the various items I had knit for her so I could have a record of my work being worn. I thought that was a wonderful gift!

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Maxtish
Chatty Knitter

USA
190 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  07:31:10 AM  Show Profile Send Maxtish a Private Message
Of course I would love it if all my gifts were worn and oohed and ahed over. But for me it is really the process that I enjoy and the pleasure at seeing the final product but not necessarily hanging on to the final product. I figure I am so addicted to knitting I couldn't possibly justify/rationalize my stash if it was all for me. In fact, I think that was why I stopped knitting when I first learned, I was knitting everything for me or my boyfriend (don't ask) and I just didn't need anymore sweaters. Then my friends started having babies and I began whipping up gifts and getting really into it again. If I know someone won't appreciate it, I won't give something to them. But every once in awhile I see something (yarn, pattern) that I just have to make for someone that I haven't knitted for before so I go for it. But before I start, I make a bargain with myself that I am taking a chance so I better be prepared for the potential downside--not appreciated, not worn, etc.

Luckily, I have several friends that do appreciate the effort and work that goes into them (so they are much more likely to get things). For Christmas last year, a friend of mine gave me a frame filled with pictures of her daughters wearing all the various items I had knit for her so I could have a record of my work being worn. I thought that was a wonderful gift!

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mtchen
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
564 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  08:28:56 AM  Show Profile Send mtchen a Private Message
Oh my God that is truly rude!!! I can't believe they did not call you or at the least send you a thank-you note...Maybe next time you see them you should casually ask them about it and see what they have to say for themselves...

For me, most often it's members of my family who are picky about the knitted items. I guess they figure it's just family and you can say what you want. Friends are not as picky, but sometimes I can't tell if it's just because they don't want to say anything bad.

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mtchen
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
564 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  08:28:56 AM  Show Profile Send mtchen a Private Message
Oh my God that is truly rude!!! I can't believe they did not call you or at the least send you a thank-you note...Maybe next time you see them you should casually ask them about it and see what they have to say for themselves...

For me, most often it's members of my family who are picky about the knitted items. I guess they figure it's just family and you can say what you want. Friends are not as picky, but sometimes I can't tell if it's just because they don't want to say anything bad.

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lemons
Permanent Resident

1692 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  10:08:33 AM  Show Profile Send lemons a Private Message
I think people are just generally a lot more slovenly about thank-you notes than they used to be. But relevant is (a.) whether you have heard from since the news of the baby's arrival and (b.) generally how often there is contact with them. Are they overwhelmed? First babies, especially if both parents are working, can do that. If you're in touch with them occasionally, I don't think a little "Say, did we ever send you a baby present? I was trying to remember." And then if they need a little nudge, "I thought Lisa had said she was going to send you a blanket or something," or "I remember meaning to send a bear and a blanket...." That way it's not terribly, terribly awkward and you can find out.

lemons of missouri

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lemons
Permanent Resident

1692 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  10:08:33 AM  Show Profile Send lemons a Private Message
I think people are just generally a lot more slovenly about thank-you notes than they used to be. But relevant is (a.) whether you have heard from since the news of the baby's arrival and (b.) generally how often there is contact with them. Are they overwhelmed? First babies, especially if both parents are working, can do that. If you're in touch with them occasionally, I don't think a little "Say, did we ever send you a baby present? I was trying to remember." And then if they need a little nudge, "I thought Lisa had said she was going to send you a blanket or something," or "I remember meaning to send a bear and a blanket...." That way it's not terribly, terribly awkward and you can find out.

lemons of missouri

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Marg in Mirror
Permanent Resident

Canada
3205 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  10:20:01 AM  Show Profile  Visit Marg in Mirror's Homepage  Send Marg in Mirror a Yahoo! Message Send Marg in Mirror a Private Message
Back in the Dark Ages, I was taught to write thank-you notes -- by hand no less! With the advent of e-mail, even the busiest folks have no excuse for "forgetting" to send a thank-you note. I know, you'd think that picking up the phone would do it but I must admit, often I find it easier and faster to e-mail (and I don't have to worry if the recipient is home to get the message!).

As for comments (other than those about fit), I am appalled at all I have read in this thread about recipients' remarks. I confess that I rarely make something as a surprise for someone, esp. if I don't know their size. As a result, most of my hand-knit gifts are baby things, where the kid is newborn and generally, the parents (and sometimes even the grandparents) don't knit, and are megga-appreciative of even the tiniest knitted gift. I did knit a pair of Fair Isle mittens in silk for the 50th birthday of a girlfriend, which she loved, but her hands are about the same size as mine, so that was okay. (by the way, you can get a kit for same from http://www.sweaterkits.com -- expensive, but a lovely gift for a special occasion!)

Remember the gal whose sister sent her wool and a pattern for her little boy as a supposed birthday present? This situation seems to me much the same -- with the same number and variety of responses!

-- Marg in Calgary

TLWKOTB
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Marg in Mirror
Permanent Resident

Canada
3205 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  10:20:01 AM  Show Profile  Visit Marg in Mirror's Homepage  Send Marg in Mirror a Yahoo! Message Send Marg in Mirror a Private Message
Back in the Dark Ages, I was taught to write thank-you notes -- by hand no less! With the advent of e-mail, even the busiest folks have no excuse for "forgetting" to send a thank-you note. I know, you'd think that picking up the phone would do it but I must admit, often I find it easier and faster to e-mail (and I don't have to worry if the recipient is home to get the message!).

As for comments (other than those about fit), I am appalled at all I have read in this thread about recipients' remarks. I confess that I rarely make something as a surprise for someone, esp. if I don't know their size. As a result, most of my hand-knit gifts are baby things, where the kid is newborn and generally, the parents (and sometimes even the grandparents) don't knit, and are megga-appreciative of even the tiniest knitted gift. I did knit a pair of Fair Isle mittens in silk for the 50th birthday of a girlfriend, which she loved, but her hands are about the same size as mine, so that was okay. (by the way, you can get a kit for same from http://www.sweaterkits.com -- expensive, but a lovely gift for a special occasion!)

Remember the gal whose sister sent her wool and a pattern for her little boy as a supposed birthday present? This situation seems to me much the same -- with the same number and variety of responses!

-- Marg in Calgary

TLWKOTB
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Milinda
Permanent Resident

USA
3817 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  10:51:38 AM  Show Profile Send Milinda a Private Message
quote:

For Christmas last year, a friend of mine gave me a frame filled with pictures of her daughters wearing all the various items I had knit for her so I could have a record of my work being worn. I thought that was a wonderful gift!


Hi, Maxtish, that would be undoubtedly the most wonderful gift for a knitter, a picture of all your work being worn. Kudos to your friend, she is the kind of person we would all like to knit for. You are right, though, it is the PROCESS which is the motivation but a nice reminder of how much your work is appreciated the way your friend did, well, that is music to the soul. She is a compassionate, smart friend to have, I'd knit for her, too!

M L
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Milinda
Permanent Resident

USA
3817 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  10:51:38 AM  Show Profile Send Milinda a Private Message
quote:

For Christmas last year, a friend of mine gave me a frame filled with pictures of her daughters wearing all the various items I had knit for her so I could have a record of my work being worn. I thought that was a wonderful gift!


Hi, Maxtish, that would be undoubtedly the most wonderful gift for a knitter, a picture of all your work being worn. Kudos to your friend, she is the kind of person we would all like to knit for. You are right, though, it is the PROCESS which is the motivation but a nice reminder of how much your work is appreciated the way your friend did, well, that is music to the soul. She is a compassionate, smart friend to have, I'd knit for her, too!

M L
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jade
Permanent Resident

USA
1543 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  12:25:42 PM  Show Profile Send jade a Private Message
I used to give knitted (and sewn, and embroidered) gifts to friends and family and had much the same reception as you. Now I'm very selective about whom I gift with my work. I won't waste my time and effort on someone who doesn't understand what goes into a handmade object. So it might be selfish of me, but most of my knitting is for very close friends and *moi*!

Cheryl

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jade
Permanent Resident

USA
1543 Posts

Posted - 05/15/2003 :  12:25:42 PM  Show Profile Send jade a Private Message
I used to give knitted (and sewn, and embroidered) gifts to friends and family and had much the same reception as you. Now I'm very selective about whom I gift with my work. I won't waste my time and effort on someone who doesn't understand what goes into a handmade object. So it might be selfish of me, but most of my knitting is for very close friends and *moi*!

Cheryl

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magikaat
New Pal

5 Posts

Posted - 05/16/2003 :  01:24:52 AM  Show Profile  Visit magikaat's Homepage Send magikaat a Private Message
I only give hand made gifts to the people I love, all the others get store bought things--that way it does't matter whether they wear them or not--because everyone knows that I ONLY give hand made gifts to those I love, and for me it is an act of love. However I have a different problem--I have a grown son with a wife and son who live in Eugene, Oregon--my son loves handknit socks and often trades for them, he blows art glass. Because I live in Israel the easiest thing for me to mail is hand knit socks, slippers, scarves, etc.--I know they appreciate these things and wear them, but I NEVER, EVER get a note saying my packages have arrived--not even an email note. This has been going on for a few years and I am just about at the point that I am not sending anything to them again--yet this is a son I love--how would you ladies deal with this rudeness???

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magikaat
New Pal

5 Posts

Posted - 05/16/2003 :  01:24:52 AM  Show Profile  Visit magikaat's Homepage Send magikaat a Private Message
I only give hand made gifts to the people I love, all the others get store bought things--that way it does't matter whether they wear them or not--because everyone knows that I ONLY give hand made gifts to those I love, and for me it is an act of love. However I have a different problem--I have a grown son with a wife and son who live in Eugene, Oregon--my son loves handknit socks and often trades for them, he blows art glass. Because I live in Israel the easiest thing for me to mail is hand knit socks, slippers, scarves, etc.--I know they appreciate these things and wear them, but I NEVER, EVER get a note saying my packages have arrived--not even an email note. This has been going on for a few years and I am just about at the point that I am not sending anything to them again--yet this is a son I love--how would you ladies deal with this rudeness???

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magikaat
New Pal

5 Posts

Posted - 05/16/2003 :  01:24:52 AM  Show Profile  Visit magikaat's Homepage Send magikaat a Private Message
I only give hand made gifts to the people I love, all the others get store bought things--that way it does't matter whether they wear them or not--because everyone knows that I ONLY give hand made gifts to those I love, and for me it is an act of love. However I have a different problem--I have a grown son with a wife and son who live in Eugene, Oregon--my son loves handknit socks and often trades for them, he blows art glass. Because I live in Israel the easiest thing for me to mail is hand knit socks, slippers, scarves, etc.--I know they appreciate these things and wear them, but I NEVER, EVER get a note saying my packages have arrived--not even an email note. This has been going on for a few years and I am just about at the point that I am not sending anything to them again--yet this is a son I love--how would you ladies deal with this rudeness???

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Shalee
Permanent Resident

USA
2051 Posts

Posted - 05/16/2003 :  05:16:51 AM  Show Profile  Visit Shalee's Homepage Send Shalee a Private Message
I am not to sure I will be making much for my middle son's children this year. To make a long story short, I made sweaters for these 3 grandchildren for last Christmas. None of them fit! They were all to small! Why? Because his wife gave me the wrong sizes! They lived in NC and we were living in OR. I was so upset I could have cried, to hear that they were to small. These were fair aisle sweaters that took a lot of time to design and knit, not to mention the cost of the wool. IF I do anymore knitting for them I will make large sweaters and let them grow into them! Now that we are living in PA I might even get to see them and TAKE MEASUREMENTS!

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Shalee
Permanent Resident

USA
2051 Posts

Posted - 05/16/2003 :  05:16:51 AM  Show Profile  Visit Shalee's Homepage Send Shalee a Private Message
I am not to sure I will be making much for my middle son's children this year. To make a long story short, I made sweaters for these 3 grandchildren for last Christmas. None of them fit! They were all to small! Why? Because his wife gave me the wrong sizes! They lived in NC and we were living in OR. I was so upset I could have cried, to hear that they were to small. These were fair aisle sweaters that took a lot of time to design and knit, not to mention the cost of the wool. IF I do anymore knitting for them I will make large sweaters and let them grow into them! Now that we are living in PA I might even get to see them and TAKE MEASUREMENTS!

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