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e_looped
Seriously Hooked

USA
712 Posts

Posted - 08/01/2002 :  2:21:29 PM  Show Profile  Visit e_looped's Homepage Send e_looped a Private Message
I haven't told my mother yet, but I know that you won't tell her - so I feel comfortable voicing my freaking outness here. I don't want to tell her yet because I know she'll be calling me everyday to see if I've heard anything.
I had some blood work done about two weeks ago and got the results back on Tuesday. I have a high level of prolactin - a hormone a woman's body produces at high levels when she's breastfeeding. I've never been pregnant, hence the cause for concern. So I have to have an MRI done tomorrow and then I see my doctor on Wednesday. They want to do an MRI to see if it's a growth on my pituitary gland, if so I'll be on hormones to get my body to start producing estrogen again. I've never had an MRI and don't have anyone to go with me. My sister is visiting this weekend, but is looking at an apartment at the same time I'll be having the MRI done - she's not willing to change her appointment for the apartment, which really hurts my feelings! So this whole thing has been a bit of a frustration getting all of the doctors talking to each other and making the appointments, faxing this here and that there. I haven't even been able to make an appointment with an endocrinologist because I had to schedule the MRI first. All in all, I've probably spent two hours on the phone calling different doctors and doctor's offices. I'm really tired of this right now.

erica :)
(knitgrl is my license plate)
Life is like knitting sometimes it's smooth, sometimes it's bumpy and sometimes it's the ultimate frustration.
http://erica-lee.org/crafts.html

kepkake
Chatty Knitter

USA
251 Posts

Posted - 08/01/2002 :  2:43:52 PM  Show Profile Send kepkake a Private Message
Hi Erica,
Here's a virtual hug for you ( ). I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. It's scary to get tests done when you don't feel supported by your loved ones. I had an MRI done a few months ago to determine the cause of migraine headaches I get frequently. It's really not as bad as people make it out to be...in fact, I was more annoyed that the technician kept waking me up to find out if I was OK than anything else. They give you headphones and put the radio on for you. As far as the other tests go...try to keep a stiff upper lip. You just don't know what the results are yet...try to relax a little in the meantime. Maybe rent a movie and have some chamomile tea (or chocolate) this evening. Distraction can be good right now. One more thing, does your sister know how much you need her support? or did you want to make it easy on her by not inconveniencing her? My sister lives in Chattanooga (I'm in PA). When she visits once or twice a year she always seems to have a full schedule barely making time for me. I used to resent it until I finally talked to her about it. I'm glad I did. I shouldn't have let it fester so long. Talk to your sister...at least you'll know that you made your feelings clear. I hope I don't sound like a big jerk. I really hope you are OK...please keep us informed. By the way, I was visiting your blogspot a minute ago and enjoyed it.

Wendy
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CatherineM
Permanent Resident

USA
3363 Posts

Posted - 08/01/2002 :  4:48:59 PM  Show Profile  Visit CatherineM's Homepage Send CatherineM a Private Message
Excellent advice from Wendy - does your sister know you're really freaking out and need her, or did you give her the impression that it wasn't worth changing her schedule? Often we hesitate to ask for help and family and friends hesitate to offer for fear of intruding. If you need support, speak up.

As for MRIs themselves, I haven't mentioned it on this board but my husband has terminal renal cancer and I have become a secondhand expert on medical procedures (as well as the queen of test scheduling). MRIs aren't bad at all, unless you know you are claustrophobic. If you really freak out in enclosed spaces tell your doctor. There are some open MRI alternatives in many places, or they can arrange for you to have a mild "calmer" before going through it. It's painless and if closed places don't bother you, don't worry, you don't really need to have anyone with you - it's basically a souped-up, very expensive x-ray. My husband is not overly fond of closed places but he finds the MRI machines relaxing and tends to fall asleep during them. I suspect that alot of the "MRI thing" about feeling enclosed, etc. is a self-fulfilling fear - if somebody convinces you it's scary, it will be. I think if you go in with the attitude that this doesn't hurt, it's not a big deal, I just have to zone out and let it happen, you are less likely to stress out.

As a mom to a grown daughter and a daughter to an extremely fretful mom, I REALLY sympathize with your reluctance to tell your mom - my mom would drive me bat<doo-doo> crazy if I called her in advance about such a thing, but as a mom, I know I'd want to be supportive (but not as annoying as Grandma ) for my own daughter. Keep venting here, or email me (cmori@cfl.rr.com) and don't fret overly - the odds are this is one of those odd hormonal things that can be adjusted with meds and an MRI is not scary. Keep us posted!


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Alissa
Seriously Hooked

USA
632 Posts

Posted - 08/01/2002 :  6:34:59 PM  Show Profile  Visit Alissa's Homepage Send Alissa a Private Message
<<HUGS>> I am so sorry you are having to go through this, but we will all send our positive thoughts your way! I wish I were closer, I would go with you. No one should have to go through scary things alone! So, when they put you in there, just close your eyes and imagine all of us, sitting there waiting for you.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you (which is making knitting difficult)

Alissa
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Kathe
Chatty Knitter

USA
181 Posts

Posted - 08/01/2002 :  9:57:31 PM  Show Profile Send Kathe a Private Message
HUGS from me too! So sorry you're going through this. I've only had one MRI done and that was years ago when they were first being used. They have greatly improved since then and the docs and techs are a lot more sensitive to the patients and their reactions. I fully understand not telling your Mom, mine would drive me whacky if I told her something like this. She would be no support at all and only make it harder for me. Too bad about your sister, but perhaps she doesn't realize how much you'd like to have her there. We're all here for you though, and will be with you in spirit as you go through the tests. Keep us posted.

Kathe

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schoolmama
Permanent Resident

USA
2310 Posts

Posted - 08/01/2002 :  10:05:33 PM  Show Profile  Visit schoolmama's Homepage Send schoolmama a Private Message
Yes, we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers, too, Erica. Barb

"OF ALL THE THINGS I HAVE LOST, I MISS MY MIND THE MOST!"
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knitaly
Chatty Knitter

USA
102 Posts

Posted - 08/01/2002 :  10:33:05 PM  Show Profile  Visit knitaly's Homepage Send knitaly a Private Message
{{{{{((((GOOD VIBES))))}}}}}

I hope you get a good night's sleep and that everything goes well for you tomorrow. Medical stuff is scary, especially a procedure you've never done before. You're a programmer... maybe you can design a program in your mind as you go through the MRI scan. I have a hard time relaxing in stressfull situations, and find it helpful to actually "do" stuff, even if it's only in my head, because it makes me feel that I have some kind of control. The thing with health problems is that we often feel out of control.

I, too, wish that I lived closer so that I could go with you.
Let us know how things go tomorrow.

<BIG>HUG</BIG>

Francesca
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Marjorie
Seriously Hooked

New Zealand
605 Posts

Posted - 08/01/2002 :  11:57:11 PM  Show Profile Send Marjorie a Private Message
Hang in there Erica.I always told my children when they were nervous of something coming up to say to themselves that by this time tomorrow it will all be over and apparently it helped.Although you haven't any family going with you for support,while you are lying there remember that there are loads of thoughts and hugs floating around you from all over the world.
Marjorie

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Emaruottolo
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
472 Posts

Posted - 08/02/2002 :  05:49:04 AM  Show Profile Send Emaruottolo a Private Message
HI Erica, my thoughts and prayers are with you. You should definitely tell your sister how you feel. Are you sure you aren't ready to tell your mom? She may be very hurt when she finds out and feels as if she is the last to know.
Hi Catherine, my prayers go out to you and your husband.
Elisa

"Happiness is not the destination, but the road traveled."
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Mikki67
Warming Up

USA
63 Posts

Posted - 08/02/2002 :  6:31:41 PM  Show Profile  Visit Mikki67's Homepage Send Mikki67 a Private Message
Maybe you could take a bit of yarn or a swatch in with you to hold on to and rub your fingers on. When you do, think of all of us who are out here sending good vibes your way. Think of it as a long distance hug.

Best wishes,

Mikki
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chris
Permanent Resident

USA
2463 Posts

Posted - 08/03/2002 :  09:31:25 AM  Show Profile Send chris a Private Message
Erica, my prayers are wafting heavenward even now, and will continue until you find out everything is just fine! Cosmic hugs. Please keep us informed.

chris (eternally grateful for this list and its members!)

Keep on knittin', mama, knittin' those blues away!
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fmarrs
Guardian angel

USA
9776 Posts

Posted - 08/04/2002 :  12:40:33 AM  Show Profile Send fmarrs a Private Message
Erica,

I have been on the giving end and the receiving end of many, many medical exams and things. This procedure is one of the easiest. Just close your eyes and think about something until they tell you they are finished. The last one I had, I managed to adjust the sizing on a sweater pattern.....LOL

Please tell your mother that you are going to have some tests done for your physical exam and don't surprise her with it later. Something a lot of people don't realize is that instead of sparing someone when we withhold information from them, we teach them that we cannot be trusted and after that they worry much much more, many times for no reason at all except they can't be sure we will tell them what is going on. You don't have to be really specific, just say it is a few medical tests and you will let her know when you get the results. If she calls you about it just tell her that no news is good news because they would call right away if it was serious. Most problems with the pituitary can be handled with medicines, so don't be too stressed out about it. The most nerve wracking thing is the not knowing, not what the results are.

Best wishes and take care of yourself
Fran

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e_looped
Seriously Hooked

USA
712 Posts

Posted - 08/08/2002 :  06:03:56 AM  Show Profile  Visit e_looped's Homepage Send e_looped a Private Message
The MRI wasn't bad. I was very comfortable and napped a fair amount of the time. I had to stay awake after I got an injection of some dye. I totally felt like I was in a cocoon because my head was stablized by foam pads, I had a bolster under my knees and a blanket around me. It was much better experience than I was expecting that I took the time to write a recognition note for the technician.

Yesterday, I met with my doctor and found out that I have a small tumor on my pituitary gland. I have to go see an endocrinologist.

I told my mom about the MRI the night before because I was mad about my sister not going with me. So she's been worried ever since I told her. I called her yesterday after the doctor's appointment and she immediately asked if it was benign and I said I didn't know. She asked if I was having radiation therapy and I said they still don't know a lot about it. That didn't seem to make her okay, so I'm letting my mom worry for both of us. I'm taking it kind of as, we'll wait and see what the endocrinologist says. I am seeing a macrobiotic food consultant who also specializes in homeopathy, so we're going to see what we can do with my diet to help this. I've been eating macrobiotically off and on since May and feel better than I've ever felt in my life. So I totally understand the whole connection between the food you eat and how your body feels, since your body gets it's energy from the food and it's going to run however you feed it. So I have faith in the fact that I'll get through this, it's just another speed bump in my road of life. It's like when we're going along too fast in our lives, our bodies throw a speed bump in the road to make us slow down and take note of them, since we so often tend to ignore what our bodies are telling us and supress the messages with medications. So getting sick or major pains are our bodies way of saying, I'm still here you need to take care of ME.

I really appreciate all of your kind words and emails. Thank you.

Did I mention that I am not in the mood to go to work right now. I'm so in the mood to stay home and knit all day! Knitting seems so much more important right now.

erica :)
(knitgrl is my license plate)
Life is like knitting sometimes it's smooth, sometimes it's bumpy and sometimes it's the ultimate frustration.
http://erica-lee.org/crafts.html
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knitaly
Chatty Knitter

USA
102 Posts

Posted - 08/08/2002 :  06:28:08 AM  Show Profile  Visit knitaly's Homepage Send knitaly a Private Message
Hi Erica,
thanks for letting us know how things went.
You seem to be doing all the rights things and have a great attitude, and that helps a LOT.

I know how unnerving it is to wait for news, and those words - benign/malignant - seem to have a power of their own. Whatever the result, don't let the words scare you and change your positive attitude. I hade a close encounter with melanoma years ago (a rather vicious form of cancer), and I am still here and the only thing that reminds me of it is a scar.

All the best, and keep us informed. By the way, a day of knitting sounds like heaven...

HUGS



Francesca
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Alissa
Seriously Hooked

USA
632 Posts

Posted - 08/08/2002 :  8:34:44 PM  Show Profile  Visit Alissa's Homepage Send Alissa a Private Message
I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I think letting your mom do all the worrying for both of you sounds like a great idea! I think a periodical day of knitting sounds like the best kind of medicine there is in the world.

Hugs,


Alissa
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RoseByAny
Permanent Resident

USA
12598 Posts

Posted - 08/09/2002 :  08:25:39 AM  Show Profile  Visit RoseByAny's Homepage Send RoseByAny a Private Message
I just saw this now, sweetie! Sending a GIGANTIC cyber-hug and tons of prayers and love.

You are not alone.

"Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable."
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Clara
queen bee

USA
4401 Posts

Posted - 08/09/2002 :  09:40:24 AM  Show Profile  Visit Clara's Homepage Send Clara a Private Message
Erica, thank you for keeping us posted on this whole process. I'm so glad that the MRI went smoothly - you faced your fears, walked through the process, and discovered that it was actually OK. Now the doctors have an idea of what's going on, and they can turn all their skills and training toward healing you.

I second what others have said already: You are not alone. Listen to and take good care of your body. Make time to do the things you truly love - especially knitting! And know that you are being surrounded by a halo of love coming from all of us, all over the world.

c.
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e_looped
Seriously Hooked

USA
712 Posts

Posted - 08/09/2002 :  10:38:22 AM  Show Profile  Visit e_looped's Homepage Send e_looped a Private Message
I decided right after I posted my message yesterday that I was not going to work. So I called in and said that I had a lot of personal stuff to do and that I wasn't coming to work. I had a lovely day of knitting at home. I started the shawl for my mother out of the Jaeger Cashmere - DREAMY! I got a bit frustrated following the pattern, so I had to put it down. I'll definitely pick it up again soon. I also worked on the little short sleeve pullover that's half of a twinset that I started on Monday night. My beginning students were suprised that I could cast on 94 stitches so quickly and effortlessly. I have about 8 inches of the pullover finished. After playing phone tag with doctor's offices most of the day - about 4pm, I decided to go to the lys and hang out for a while. I'm so glad that I did because I got to see my knitting buddies who were there for knit night. I had to leave at 6pm for my macrobiotic cooking class. But it felt so good to have them oohing and aahing over my stuff. I am almost finished with a baby sweater that's on the cover of Wee Knits Too. I started it about two weeks ago for a friend who wants to give it to a relative at a baby shower. So that got a lot of "so cute"s.

I think I'm finally making some headway with the doctor's offices. How frustrating to play phone tag with them all over the place, get medical release forms (since they can't use just any old release form, it has to be theirs), sign the release forms and send them back. Now I'm waiting to see when I can get in with the endocrinologist. I have an even more negative impression of the medical system in this country having gone through all of this for just the last week. I think my body will be completely red soon with all of the red tape I'm having to go through. :)
I'll keep you posted.

Wooohoooo, I finally got my third star!

erica :)
(knitgrl is my license plate)
Life is like knitting sometimes it's smooth, sometimes it's bumpy and sometimes it's the ultimate frustration.
http://erica-lee.org/crafts.html
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Emaruottolo
Gabber Extraordinaire

USA
472 Posts

Posted - 08/09/2002 :  2:37:48 PM  Show Profile Send Emaruottolo a Private Message
Fingers are crossed and prayers are being said. We are all here for you.
Elisa

"Happiness is not the destination, but the road traveled."
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Rebecca
Permanent Resident

USA
1119 Posts

Posted - 08/09/2002 :  4:40:06 PM  Show Profile Send Rebecca a Private Message
Dear Erica,
I've been following all the posts through your medical ordeal and you really have a lot of support and a great attitude going for you. You're so right about taking time to listen to your body. Your body wants to work for you but sometimes we push it too much and the balance suffers.

I'm glad the MRI went okay. I'm glad you told your mom so she can worry for the both of you, that's her job, right???

The knitting projects sound great!

Take care,
Rebecca

...found easily in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia...
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e_looped
Seriously Hooked

USA
712 Posts

Posted - 08/12/2002 :  2:41:40 PM  Show Profile  Visit e_looped's Homepage Send e_looped a Private Message
I see the endocrinologist tomorrow.
I will keep all of you posted.


erica :)
(knitgrl is my license plate)
Life is like knitting sometimes it's smooth, sometimes it's bumpy and sometimes it's the ultimate frustration.
http://erica-lee.org/crafts.html
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